Nihongo-a-Go-Go :: Mandy's Journal

Thomas Chatterton

Well...as of today, I have fifteen days of work left. Yay! This week was a mix of going to work/not going to work. I worked Saturday, then had Sunday off for Dolpa, then worked Monday, then called in sick on Tuesday, then worked today. Very strange week for me. I had a really amazing time at Dolpa, and believe it or not, I actually woke up at 5:30 am to go. I'm that dedicated. I got some really beautiful things there, and got to speak with Japanese and Western doll owners. It was very cool to meet people in person who I'd only known online, and super cool to have Japanese people approach me and ask where I was from, who my doll was, and if they could take his picture. I took my Thomas. Ah, Thomas...

The painting is "Death of Chatterton," by Henry Wallis.

Today is actually the anniversary of the real Thomas Chatterton's death. He went to his room, alone, on the night of August 24, 1770, and never came out. He was starving to death, panicked at the thought of having no money and no future, and totally unable to talk to anyone about it, least of all his family. Too proud to beg or borrow, they always say in his biography. They never think of the fact that he couldn't think straight; he didn't have the nutrition to. Try not eating for one day and making big decisions. He hadn't eaten in days on end. It makes me so sick to think of him, alone that night, with the arsenic and opium, probably scared out of his mind. That's why I have to keep researching him, reading and analyzing his poetry, writing about him and for him. He wanted an angel to trumpet his name around the world. All he got was a short eccentric American girl, but I did play the trumpet in middle school, at least. I hope you're resting well now, Thomas.

"Perish the thought in night's eternal shade:
To live, then die, man was not only made.
There's yet an awful something else remains
Either to lessen or increase our pains...

Oh! may our portion in that world above,
Eternal fountain of eternal love,
Be crown'd with peace that bids the sinner live;
With praise to Him who only can forgive--
Blot out the stains and errors of our youth;
Whose smile is mercy, and whose word is truth."
(Chatterton, 'On the Immortality of the Soul,'
1770,written as an impromptu for his friend William
Smith, before his departure for London)

And here's a pic of Thomas, the doll inspired by him, dressed in one of the outfits I got at Dolpa. It was made by Puredrop, an amazing seamstress who draws her inspiration from Chinese traditional imperial clothes. I can't believe I actually own a Puredrop outfit. Squee!

Tomorrow I'm going shopping with James to all the goth/visual kei shops in Nagoya. Woooooooooot. And maybe getting bagels, yay!

Posted by Mandy at August 25, 2005 01:21 AM